I have experienced a lot in my first 40 years of life. The so called good, the bad and the ugly. From experiencing molestation as a child, to attempting suicide as a teen, bullying in high school, marriage, divorce, abortion, chronic illness for 30 years, narcissistic, abusive and alcoholic boyfriends, the death of my father and best friend, a toxic hate filled relationship with my mother and then the moment my brother shot his girlfriend and then killed himself.

Now, sprinkle through that the so called amazing things that happened. Great friends, amazing jobs, creating wealth and purchasing several investment properties, loads of travel, meeting some of the greatest thought leaders of our time and being asked to join Dr Joe Dispenza as a member of his leadership team helping him to facilitate retreats.

My life was turbulent highs and lows. Wins and losses and how I kept functioning through all of that was a miracle.

And then in April 2020, I couldn’t any longer. I became severely unwell, more unwell than the chronic conditions I had experienced since childhood. I thought I had dementia. I couldn’t remember friends names, what I was saying during a conversation, I would pick up my phone to write a note to remember something and I couldn’t remember why I had my phone. I was riddled with parasites and the hippocampus area of my brain was malfunctioning.

I had to dive even deeper into the work and heal those parts of me that I didn’t even know were hurting if I was ever to come back from this. Radical accountability. I moved out of victimhood and became a powerful creator.

Over the years, tried all of the things, NLP, hypnotherapy, breathwork, meditation, I was vegan, vegetarian, I had reiki healings, I carried crystals, I took natural serotonin boosters, energy healings, EFT, I read book after book, I tried subliminal recordings, I attended lecture after lecture, I bashed my bed with a baseball bat, I had psychic readings, tarot readings, astrology readings, enrolled in course after course, I wrote affirmations a hundred times a day, I read them constantly, I spent time in ashrams studying Yogic traditions, I swam in the ganges, I meditated in the cave where Jesus stayed, I took magic mushrooms, ayahuasca and lsd, I had kinesiology, past life regressions and more!

The fact is, all of the things helped….to a degree. Some more than others. But it wasn’t until I dove deep into shadow work that I saw my life change in leaps and bounds.

None of the external things were the issue. They were simply messengers, mirrors reflecting back to me what was ready to heal. The events were neither good nor bad, they simply were. Instead of fighting myself and others all of the time, I surrendered. Instead of blaming others and being a victim, I became completely accountable and got to work. It was hard at times, it hurt and felt uncomfortable, but it worked.